The Return of the Lost Tribe

Good news.  Jake Watters (above) can come to visit me in Jerusalem this summer. He’s even going to get Birthright Israel to pay for it.  Who cares if they’re ideologically questionable!

You might be saying, “What? This man looks Asian, not Jewish.”  Well, Arimasa Kubo, “a Japanese Christian writer living in Japan” thinks he has discovered that the Japanese are the lost tribe of Israel.  Check out his theories here. I am not agreeing with his ideas, but check ‘em out.

Although he is only half Japanese, it is thankfully the maternal half. In fact, if there were an Orthodox Jew who subscribed to Arimasa Kubo’s theory, Jake might actually be more Jewish than I am!

The real question is, What will Birthright say?

 

Making the world safe for…?

There are all sorts of things going on in the real world and the blogosphere, but I haven’t been blogging because it’s finals here at Oberlin. Which isn’t to say I haven’t been thinking about interesting stuff. I am writing a paper about American foreign relations in the Twentieth Century and the doctrine of preemption for a class with Clayton Koppes. While I was reading the 2002 National Security Strategy, in which the Bush foreign policy team outlined their approach to the War on Terror, I came across this gem:

This strategy will turn adversity into opportunity. For example, emergency management systems will be better able to cope not just with terrorism but with all hazards. Our medical system will be strengthened to manage not just bioterror, but all infectious diseases and mass-casualty dangers. Our border controls will not just stop terrorists, but improve the efficient movement of legitimate traffic.

Oh yeah. I almost forgot how instrumental the Department of Homeland Security was in the federal government’s excellent handling of Hurricane Katrina.

On paper (or computer screen in this case) the text of the National Security Strategy doesn’t seem ridiculous. But in EVERY SINGLE SITUATION, it has proven to be a complete failure. Oy.  Alright, back to the grindstone.

 

Da Bears

Did you know that “Medvedev” is the genitive plural form of “bears” in Russian?

Also, “the bear was taken up as the symbol of The United Russia Party, which at present dominates political life in Russia,” according to Wikipedia.

 

Already a pretty good president

My friend Trevor tipped me off to this story today.  The rebels in Nigeria’s Niger Delta who have been blowing up oil equipment are considering a truce because Barack Obama suggested that they do.  Read the story here.

“The MEND [Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta] command is seriously considering a temporary ceasefire appeal by Senator Barack Obama. Obama is someone we respect and hold in high esteem. The period of halting attacks, we hope, when considered, will afford the Nigerian government the opportunity to address the issues with Henry Okah, including improving his living conditions and having access to a bible which he has requested for but was denied,” they said.

Can Barack Obama’s presence alone solve all the problems of the world from Abkhazia to Zimbabwe?  Of course not.  But his is someone who people “respect and hold in high esteem.”  Which is more than you can say about George W. Bush.

 

Hillary for President!

Because you don’t have a choice!

So tonight it became clear that if the Democratic nominating process is going to take place in a manner that is at all democratic, Barack Obama will be the party’s nominee. It is now Hillary Clinton’s responsibility to drop out of the race. But you didn’t need me to tell you that. Just read the Washington Post or Slate’s Hillary Deathwatch.

But here is where I can offer my own crackpot conspiracy theory: I sincerely believe that if Hillary Clinton does not drop out of the race this week, she is intentionally trying to make it impossible for Obama to beat John McCain in November. She believes that this will ensure her the nomination in 2012, when she believes that she can finally win.

This quote from the Washington Post justifies my point:

A Clinton adviser said the situation was increasingly becoming one in which “she cannot be nominated and he can’t get elected.”

So the obvious solution is to destroy your own party’s candidate and subject the United States and the world to four years of John McCain so that YOU can be in the White House.

Or am I going totally out of my mind?

 

Laura Bush: Stateswoman for the Twenty-First Century

Not.

I am deeply saddened by the humanitarian crisis in Burma right now.  (In case you don’t know a cyclone hit the country on Sunday and killed more than 22,000 people.  41,000 are still missing.)  And I hate the Burmese government as much as the next guy.  But why did Laura Bush feel the need to make a political statement out of the crisis?

Irrawaddy, an exile Burmese news magazine reports:

Speaking on May 5 at the White House, Laura Bush said, “If we can get some sort of team in there to assess what the other needs are, then I feel very assured that the United States government will follow with [greater assistance].”

She also accused Burmese military rulers of having failed to warn their citizens in time about the approach of a killer cyclone.

Mrs Bush went on to urge Burma’s government to ensure its referendum is free, fair and inclusive as the military junta moves forward with the constitutional referendum scheduled for this Saturday, May 10, despite the havoc created by Cyclone Nargis.

The Irrawaddy story quotes an exiled Burmese political analyst as saying, “This is a time when people are dying and suffering to a horrible degree, so if the US really wants to help, it can help without making political demands.”  I agree.

But I also have to wonder: Why Laura?  Who in the White House or the State Department decided that Laura Bush was the right person to criticize the Burmese junta? Or is this something that she picked on her own volition. Regardless, it was inappropriate.

 

Horse Stories

What?  Who won the Kentucky Derby according to my “breaking news” update for NYTimes.com?

Oh.  Big Brown.  I was confused.

 

Radishes

This is pretty entertaining if you’re into stuff like that. It runs a little longer than you want it to, but, you know, that’s the point. Samuel Beckett plays are a little painful. Enjoy!

Thanks to Projectionist.

 

Happy Holidays!

I apologize for the hiatus from the blogosphere. (Did you notice?) I’ve been writing papers about Nietzsche and historiography, the ‘origins’ of the Cold War, just war in the twenty-first century, and all sorts of other bullshit that is just a little too boring to blog about. But I had to post today, in honor of three reasons that make May 1 a special day.

1.

It is May Day. I always wished that I celebrated this holiday for workers and communist. I think it’s still observed in Latin America, though. Anyway, I recommend a Mother Lager from the Magic Hat Brewery in Burlington, VT.

2.
Today is the five year anniversary of the end of major combat operations in Iraq.”What the hell are you talking about?” you might say. But it’s true. General George W. Bush said so himself on the aircraft carrier. Watch it here:

Also, read Juan Cole’s excellent commentary on this somber occasion here.

3.

Finally it is the birthday of a very fine squirrel, who has unfortunately disappeared from New York City. I suspect that he’s lost on the Continent.

 

What this means

I got my daily spin email from the Obama campaign today and this is what they say last night’s defeat in Pennsylvania mean:

In a state where we trailed by more than 25 points just a couple weeks ago, you helped close the gap to a slimmer margin than most thought possible.

Thanks to your support, with just 9 contests remaining, we’ve won more delegates, more votes, and twice as many contests.

We hold a commanding position, but there are two crucial contests coming up — voters will head to the polls in North Carolina and Indiana in exactly two weeks. And we’re already building our organization in the other remaining states.

You know what I think this means? I think that this means that this is going to drag on for even longer. I am now speaking on behalf of everyone I know when I say PLEASE STOP THIS NOW.

We used to be excited about this election. And now? Now I never want to see Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama again. I have had to watch them fight it about every petty piece of bullshit. (I know that a lot of the time I played along.) I have –very much against my will–grown to hate Hillary Clinton.

And the worst part by far is the possibility that this painfully protracted primary season could somehow give the presidency to John McCain, who will subsequently plunge our great nation into total war against some poorly defined enemy.

The Democrats are running against eight years of George W. Bush. Eight straight years of disaster. If they throw that opportunity away it will be the biggest disgrace in political history.

I don’t care how they do it, but they have to end this now.

Update:  The New York Times agrees with me, using a more respectable vocabulary.